My life: A Well-Organized Mess

I've got the itch!

2011-04-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

After a whole lot of time, I've got the itch to come post here again. I had the best time re-reading my posts and reminiscing about the things I blogged about, so I'd like to do it again.

I wanted to give an update, but there's so much (and so little) to discuss! You know, life keeps moving on. The kids get older, the house gets junkier, my job gets job-ier. I mean what's to say? Here's what I know at this moment in time:

I'm happy. Truly happy. Reggie and I have struggled through some of the hardest times of our marriage. But we survived. We made it through and we have made the conscious decision to stay together and to really love and treasure each other. Our motto is: Failure is not an option. And it's not. We don't even think about us not working because we are honestly the most important thing in the world. I have honestly grown so much through the past year. I've had to face my own demons and my own shortcomings and I think I've learned more about myself than I expected. I have also learned that I love this man and I LOVE our family. Being without them is like living without my legs. I can survive, but it's really no kind of life.

The kids have gotten SO BIG. Trae is 15 and Bria is 13. I've done things with these kids I couldn't have imagined a few years ago. I have actually sat in the passenger's seat while Trae'von drove. That was a HUGE WTF moment for me, but also a moment filled with so much pride. I've kept a straight face while discussing his sex life. Yeah, that's what I said. I've seen my baby girl get a true big girl haircut that is adorable and frightening. She looks 16 with this haircut and that is terrifying. She also has boobs and it's cute how much that freaks Reggie out!

And, as much as this may surprise my (non-existant) readers, I want a baby. I finally feel ready. I never really thought I'd get to this point, but I'm totally here. I'm ready to move forward with my family and I am honestly in love with the idea of expanding our family. I'd love to have a few kids and I can't wait to do that with Reggie. Who would have thunk that?

On a personal level, this has been a tough year. I hurt my back in August and went through months of doctors and tests before they finally realized I had herniated a disk. I had surgery in November and went through 6 weeks of recovery. After the 6 weeks, I went back to work for almost 3 weeks and the disk herniated again. I've lived with excruciating pain for weeks now and am scheduled for another surgery on April 11th. Going through this a second time has given me a new perspective about life and living. You don't really appreciate your health until you lose it. I feel so motivated to get healthy, lose weight and strengthen my body so that I don't have to go through this again. The fact that I am going to have a portion of bone removed from my spine is scary. Also the idea that preventative measures aren't being sought out for me because I'm so young scares me. I want to be young and healthy. I don't want to live in pain. So it's time for me to make a change. For once in my life. It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference. Gonna make it right. So I'm starting with the (wo)man in the mirror.

Obviously, as much as things change, the more they stay the same. And I like it like that.

Is this thing on????

2010-07-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hello (oooooooooooo). Is anybody out there (echo, echo, echo)?

Yeah, so... it's been a minute. Ok, so it's been about 350 days (give or take a few). All right, all right, it's been almost a year. I'M SORRY! Ok, I'm sorry! I promise to be better. Uh... correct that, I promise to TRY to be better.

So much has happened and so little all at the same time. Too much to cover right now, but soon and very soon, I'll give ya an update....

Pat, Pat, Pat

2009-07-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, the sound you hear is me patting myself on the back! I DESERVE IT! I've been meeting goals all over the place.

Let's see:
1. Go back to school - check
I'm not keeping up - barely - but I am keeping up!

2. Start running - check
Yesterday I went 3 miles running intervals - 5K here I come! My goal is to be in a 5K in October so with the help of my girl Tuwana, we will BE THERE!

3. Start eating healthy - check
I'm starting SB diet on Monday officially but I've been watching what I eat already. I passed on potatoes at dinner and refrained from eating the FREE Twix I got at the grocery store!

4. Wean myself off of sweet tea - check
I knew this would be the hardest one - but yesterday I ordered an unsweetened tea with extra lemon. I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself! I'm breaking my one addiction! GO ME!

5. Become fiscally responsible - in progress
We FINALLY entered the world of coupons yesterday! On 2 trips to Harris Teeter with coupons we saved $105.78! It felt SO GOOD and we can't wait to get MORE coupons! LOL

GO JENNIFER!

Back on the Short Bus

2009-07-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I don't ride the short bus and I'm not making fun of people who do. It's just that after 9 years of being OUT of school - going BACK to school is tough! REALLY tough.

But I'm proud of myself for doing it! I am officially a student at Walden University - all online. I'm completing my bachelor's degree (WHY did I drop out with only 9 classes left to go ANYWAY????) and simultaneously taking classes for my Master's program. In 2 years I should have my Bachelor's in Psychology Applied to the Workplace and my Master's in The Psychology of Leadership Development and Executive Coaching - two very specialized degrees that make me INCREDIBLY happy!

I'd love to take my current career (project management) and move that into a career in executive/business management. Basically I'd like to be a Management Consultant and teach executives and small businesses how to improve their organizations and maximize their management skills.

But that all seems pretty far away right now. At this point, I'm STRUGGLING to keep up with the amount of work. I keep telling myself that as soon as I get over THIS (insert small life hump here) it will get easier. Well, we've stopped traveling, we've got the kids back, my job is settled, and yet, it hasn't gotten any easier. I think I just need to push myself a little harder.

So, I may be more stressed than usual for the next few months, er years. But one thing I do know is that it will be worth it in the end. I'll have my degrees, my dad will be proud, I should be more marketable, and worth more money!!!!

I just need to keep reminding myself of that as I'm researching inane bits of information....

Umm yeah, so....

2009-07-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

It seems like my last few posts have been about how I need to come here and post more.... so uh, here I am.

I KNOW I need to post. I will, I promise. I have SO MUCH going on that I SHOULD share - but who has time? I will MAKE time, I promise. I also have pictures to upload... coming soon to a blog near you.

I'll try to get better. I really will.

It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

2009-06-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how to DESCRIBE what went down this weekend for my birthday!!

WOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOW

So we've been planning a party and I knew that some of my DIVAS were going to come and hang out at the house for my birthday! I expected Cheryl, Danyett, Teresa, and I hoped that Tiffany would be able to make it. Little did I know that Ms. NICKI DAVEY was planning to surprise me and fly in! She hooked up with Reggie - that sneaky SOB - and flew in! I was already excited about people coming and about the party, but when she walked in, it was ON! I was soooo happy to see that long hair and couldn't stop hugging her!

Reggie & Trae hung with the DIVAS on Thursday night while Nicki, Teresa, and Cheryl and I partied it up at the Melting Pot! The food was SO GOOD, the service improved after Nicki & Cheryl opened a can of Whup Ass on the manager, and the company was AWESOME! We had a BALL there for 3 hours (yes, 3 HOURS)!

Well, it wasn't long before Tanya got the bug and literally HOPPED on her FIRST FLIGHT EVER to come hang out and party with us! That was the coolest thing under the sun! Sadly, Tiffany had some issues come up so she couldn't make it, but we made the most out of our day on Friday by sleeping in late, and stopping by my favorite place: CFA

Then Nicki decided to THROW DOWN in the kitchen! Aside from nearly burning down my house, it was all good! ;)

Several trips to the liquor store later, we were having the BEST time, and then it only got better: DANYETT ARRIVED!

We ended up having too many laughs and entirely TOO MUCH fun that night and it wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that we drifted off to bed.

You can imagine my surprise when I heard the phone ring at 9:30 Saturday morning! It was Tiffany and she said the most beautiful sentence I've ever heard "I think I'm pulling into your driveway!" I jumped outta bed, ran some mouthwash through my mouth (she was grateful) and ran downstairs into the biggest hug! It was so touching that she got up at 5am and drove to Charlotte to celebrate my birthday!

After we got up and dressed, we did what girls do - HEADED TO THE MALL! We shopped til we dropped and laughed like teenagers! I haven't been to the mall with my girls in FOREVER and I'd forgotten how fun it could be!

After an intense day of shopping, it was time to go home and get ready to PARTY!!! We had reservations at a new dessert bar called Crave and we had to get DIVAFIED in order to go!

It was TIME TO ROCK!!! We went to the dessert bar (late OF COURSE) and met up with more of my friends! What followed that night was just too much fun to describe - the synopsis is:

Lots of friends, horrible cake, GREAT drinks, driving all over Charlotte, sending mobile teams out to scout out our next location, crashing SOMEONE ELSE'S birthday party (luckily her name started with a J so we fit right in), lots of dancing, feet hurting, too much fun! Followed by taking the party back to our house, a late night visit to Cook-Out, 4 pounds of hushpuppies, HILARIOUS garage time, Aaron warming his hands over a CANDLE, Tina becoming a DIVA, and finally - YOU GOT MY MONKEY (the catch phrase of the trip).

There are TOO many pictures to share, so watch the slideshow!!!

I'm back, bitchezzzz

2009-05-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, that may have been a bit much, but that's how I FEEL today! I know I've been slackin on the bloggin, but I've been so busy. We've had several parties - it's spring and time to get out - and we've been busy in the house.

Sue me.

Anywho, I did it. I scrapbooked in my room the other night. Reggie was snoring on the couch, I was catching up on Brothers and Sisters (which has gotten so good!) and SCRAPPING. It took me a while to find my mojo, but I had this idea in my head that would not die. Ok, so it involved cutting the top of my son's head off, but it worked.

More than that, it just felt GOOD to be creative again. Check it out.....

My big kids

2009-04-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

WOW! My kiddos are so big now!!! We took these photos and it just hit me. THEY ARE NOT BABIES ANYMORE!

Where did the time go??? I suddenly have 2 little rock stars! Trae is 13 and Bria is 11 (and a half)! Suddenly hormones are flying, voices are changing, body parts are sprouting and I'm feeling O-L-D. How on earth am I the mother of teenagers? Step-mother, true, but I'm old enough for them to be mine.

But aren't they the most beautiful kids on earth? I think so.

And we're OFF!

2009-03-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

YAHOOO! I can't believe how fast time flies, but it's already time!

Reggie and I are headed to Las Vegas tomorrow for our first trip!!! We are STOKED and just can't wait to be in Vegas, ALL ALONE, and see everything there is to see.

Reggie, of course, only cares about getting a good meal - so I've booked dinner at 2 of his favorite chef's restaurants. We're eating at Emeril's - BAM - Delmonico and Bobby Flay's Mesa. I'm salivating already, just at the thought of it!!!

I want to get out and see the strip. I want to go to the wax museum, the Egyptian Tombs, see the Bellagio fountains, and all of that! I can't wait!

Adios, amigos!!!

It's official: I suck

2009-03-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

Soooo after being gently reminded to complete my spending log for last week - yes, last week - I did and I'm BUMMED.

I felt like we did much better in week #2 since week #1 was so eye-opening. Welllll, not so much.

Here's last week's totals:
Eating out $229.41
Groceries $240.17
Gas $30.36
Bills $1307.96
Misc. Wants $155.58

Total $1936.48

It's official. I suck.

The only ray of light is that we DID get groceries so we haven't eaten out this week at all - barring one minor trip to Chic Fil-A for breakfast (it's a total addiction).

That means week 3, fiscal responsibility HERE WE COME!

DON'T pinch me, please

2009-03-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, Reggie and I were beached out on the couch together before going to bed. I had just finished putting my scrapbooking stuff away on the bookshelves and I just lay on the couch staring at it. In that moment I realized - I have it all. My eyes opened wider and I felt completely shocked.

I have it all. Everything I ever hoped for is mine. All the things I wanted in my life are right in my lap. Right here, right now. I have a rock solid marriage that is stable and healthy. I'm in love with a man who is honestly my best friend. He understands me and he truly cares about the things that I care about. Even after almost 8 years of marriage, or maybe because of the past 8 years, we are stronger, wiser, and better. Much better.

I live in a house that I love and that we are continually building into a home together. It's not the Taj Mahal, but it's ours and I love every little thing we do together here.

I have 2 awesome kids. As difficult as it is to have a teenager and a pre-teen, they are still essentially good kids. We are so blessed by their love and when I sit back and think about it, I'm enjoying watching them grow into the people they will be.

I have a job that I actually enjoy and that gives me satisfaction. It's still a job, but I enjoy a lot of freedom and I'm blessed to work with pretty cool people.

We've got issues, goals, and things to work on, but overall - this is my utopia.

I looked at my husband and said "I'm living my dream" and I don't want to be pinched.

Thank you, God.

I AM A RUNNER!

2009-03-08T18:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've always wanted to do it.

I have ALWAYS wanted to be a runner. You know, the kind of wacky person who gets up and runs for no apparent reason in no real direction. Yep, that kind. I want to say "oh, I ran a 5k this morning"! I want the cute running shoes, the sweaty ponytail and the sexy tight pants.

Today, I did it. I met up with a group of ladies from my job and I went RUNNING. I am officially in training to run a 5K. I AM GOING TO DO THIS! I really am.

I hope I lose some weight doing it, but that's not my goal. My goal is to be a runner. My goal is to actually acomplish something I start.

So today:I AM A RUNNER!

After my run, I swung by the store for this lovely little reward:

Hey damn it! Even runners need a reward!

Spending Log: Week 1 Recap

2009-03-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

WOW.

DOUBLE WOW.

TRIPLE WOW.

We are sitting here with open mouths....

We've tracked our spending all week long and we are just amazed.

Here it is: Are you ready?

This week we spent:
$229 on food (all eating out)
$1618 on bills (mortgage and Trae's tutor)
$ 60 on other Miscellaneous Needs
$511 on clothes/shoes for me & Reggie (mainly because of our Vegas trip)
$481 on other Miscellaneous Wants

Our grand total this week was $2,962.64.

This is BAD! But it's good because we are both so disgusted that I'm SURE we'll do better next week. We have resolved to go to the grocery store tomorrow and not buy another frivolous thing this week!

Spending Log #1

2009-03-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

YAY ME! I did it - and it felt good! I tracked our spending for day 1 and day 2 of March! We were somewhat responsible - paid the mortgage, and we blew a little on Craigslist items. Technically those were for the house, so I don't know that we BLEW them - I needed that Cricut - but if we're only doing a WANT and a NEED column, I guess they fall into the WANTS. sigh This is so hard.

And why does Chic Fil-A have to show up on the very first page - TWICE!?
This is going to be a very hard month...

Day 1 & 2 Total Spent: $1917.78

SNOW DAY!

2009-03-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

You would think that living in North Carolina, we'd get a fair amount of snow. BUT much like living near the beach, living near (but not in) the mountains means we don't get a lot of snow. Sunday night, however - we did! It started to snow and just didn't stop! We were shocked to see that it was sticking and when we woke up Monday morning we had almost 6 inches of snow!

The kids were thrilled - and secretly so was I! Trae could not get in the shower fast enough, and even though I was working from home - I scheduled myself in a "meeting", put on my new Skully rain boots, and we got out in the snow!

Poor Reggie didn't feel up to coming out to play, but Trae and I did! We dusted off the sleds I've been holding onto for years and drove out in search of a hill. We spotted some savvy snowboarders taking on this big hill close to our house and we decided to join in the fun!

My poor snow-deprived child had NO CLUE what he was doing. His first trip down the hill, he ended up completely backwards!

The second time, he did a little better, but the third time -

he slid DIRECTLY into a mud puddle!

COMPLETELY SOAKED! So much for that nice new Old Navy jacket I just bought! LOL

After this, Trae was DONE with the whole sledding incident! He trudged back to the car where I ordered him to strip down to his underclothes and ride in the BACK! But it was fun while it lasted, and totally worth it for this adorable picture:

Tales of a Budget Queen

2009-03-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm not quite there yet - shush DIVAS - but I am determined to become a budget queen. SO, this month instead of wondering where all of our money has gone at the end of the month, I'm going to chronicle where we spend our money. Hence the brand new SPENDING LOG - do you hear the angels singing Allelujah?

This is my goal - to track every dollar we spend for the month of March and then we will be able to identify trends in spending - our Chic Fil-A addiction will be well documented - and then we can make informed choices about where we'd rather spend AND SAVE our money! I'm going to document my progress here on my blog so that I'm somewhat accountable and so that my esteemed financial advisors (Jen, Michelle, and Teresa) can track my progress.

Wish me luck - I'm a Budget Queen in the making!

My blind little bat

2009-02-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

Awwwww.... Reggie's first optometrist appointment. My baby is getting so old - blind as a bat!

LOL well, that's what it feels like anyway. When your eyesight starts to fail, you just feel OLD! I got my first pair of glasses right after college - a complete miracle that I made it that long considering my genetic makeup. Thanks mom & dad - and now it's Reggie's turn. His eyesight isn't bad per se, but it sure ain't what it used to be. So it's time for him to get glasses!

It was fun trying on different frames, but we quickly found THE ONES. I think he looks so handsome - despite the aggravated look on his face - and even though these don't perfectly fit his face, the ones we ordered will. He looks like an engineer, a professional, and an intellectual all rolled up into one. Ralalalalalalala - sorry that's an inside joke.

Why DO bats have eyes anyway??

Happy Valentine's Day to Us!

2009-02-13T21:15:00.000-08:00

We're not that big on Valentine's Day. Yes I KNOW, it's a "woman's" holiday, but I never really saw the point in getting wilted flowers or overpriced jewelry from him just because he felt like he had to do it. I would rather get something that his heart is in or nothing at all.

Luckily, Reggie agrees with me - it would be kind of weird if he didn't - so we just try to make Valentine's Day a cool day to hang together. This year I took off on Friday and we just hung out. It was AWESOME!

We started out by going to Best Buy to buy my NEW CAMERA!!! Yep that's right, I got a new one! I love the old camera, I really do. It's just so BIG. I'm not a big purse carrier, so I really wanted a small camera I could put in my pocket for everyday use. My DSLR will always be my first love, but check out my new BOYTOY: (make sure to oooh and aaah appropriately)

We went out for sushi - neither of us eat sushi, but we'll tear the appetizers up! Ummm spring rolls, miso soup, and best of all - cajun shrimp?? Yep, we love the Cajun Shrimp at Sushi 101. I've never met a Japanese Cajun, but they sure know how to cook!

After lunch we shopped at Pier One and bought some knicknacks. Then we took a stroll around the lake. It was beautiful outside and we just watched the beginning of spring. The ducks and geese were out and it was great.

Then we headed to the movies. Now in case you don't know, I'm quirky about my movies - imagine that. I love the smell of movie popcorn, but it's always a letdown to me. So a movie isn't a movie without - NACHOS!!! Yep, those nasty, cold, oversalted nacho chips and fake cheese.... that's the life. Reggie always wants chocolate at the movies - gotta be Milkduds or the creme de la creme - WHOPPERS. Most places don't have them, so today he went with a good ol' Kit Kat. This is our version of fine dining!

We watched Not Easily Broken. It was a great movie about marriages surviving struggle. We ended up very happy we'd gone to see it. I'm usually pretty skeptical about low-budget movies, but this one was worth my $9.50 a ticket... or as worth it as $19 can be. I remember when movies cost $4 and I had to walk barefoot uphill in the snow just to see one!

After the movies, we went back to our domestic lives. We shopped in Harris Teeter and we even had fun there! We were taking so many pictures in the aisles, I'm surprised they didn't kick us out. But hey, THIS is what life is about!

Julia Roberts

2009-02-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm watching one of my favorite movies - My Best Friend's Wedding and I'm thinking to myself: Cameron Diaz vs. Julia Roberts? huh, what?

I think Julia Roberts is BEAUTIFUL - ok UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous. I also highly respect her because she's not at all caught up in Hollywood. She lives on a ranch with her family and seems to be very happy. She still should have married Benjamin Bratt (sooooo hot), but I'm over that.

One of my favorite lines in this movie - and there are many - is "I have to be Jello!" But seriously, Jello? Jessica Roberts is definitely the Creme Brulee in that equation.

I love her neurotic personality in this movie - she really could be my best friend in this movie. Or sadly... she could be me.

Anywhoo this is a GREAT movie. Why can't Rupert Everett be my best friend???

20 things I want to accomplish in 2009

2009-01-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

1. Have a completed bedroom with a new bed
2. Go on a weekend trip with my husband
3. Take my children to the Biltmore Mansion
4. Plan a trip to NYC with the kids
5. Obtain health insurance
6. Help Reggie get a job he enjoys
7. Become financially secure and make wise choices
8. Save at least 3 months of living expenses in case of a lay off
9. Get the office arranged
10. Organize all photos - print photos from the computer
11. Create and store photo cds
12. Begin scrapbooking again
13. Learn Photoshop and use it
14. Find a new author to love
15. Meet up with my Divas again
16. Slowly buy a stylish wardrobe and jewelry
17. Keep my hair done
18. Get an organized card system and send out cards regularly
19. Purchase thoughtful gifts throughout the year for friends and family
20. Make a career decision and act on it

Christmas

2008-12-30T09:18:00.000-08:00

We usually celebrate Christmas in a jumbled fashion - kids here, dinner there, but this Christmas was small and quiet. We went to Virginia and ate dinner at Granny's house. We opened presents there as usual, but the 4 of us didn't celebrate until we picked Bria up and came back home.

This year we celebrated on Dec. 29th and there were no big celebrations, no huge Christmas dinner, just the 4 of us opening gifts, talking about fun times, and watching classic Christmas movies. We introduced the kids to A Christmas Story and they thought it was hilarious! We had the best time watching that and the Lampoon Family Christmas movie! We shared hot chocolate and marvelled at how nice it was to have our own house, our own time together and older kids to share it with.

Happy 13th Birthday Trae!

2008-12-23T23:11:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I am the mother of a teenager. My BABY is a teenager - a big boy in every sense of the word.

VA BOYS! Trae'von, Germaine, and Malik

Trae's CREW!

I love this child with every OUNCE of my heart. I love everything about him, even the parts that make me sad. Take a look at my little baby - my forever sweet punkinwunkin...

These are the pictures we took on his birthday. They are worth 1,000 words.

For his birthday, we took him to his first NBA game - the Charlotte Bobcats vs. the Washington Wizards. It was a first for all of us and thanks to Craigslist we had GREAT seats! This was fun!

Along with him being old comes the realization that I am now officially old. One of the only sad things about starting young (or marrying someone who started young) is that you get old QUICKLY! And being a mother to a 13 year old with teenage hormones AND a slightly smart mouth is giving me gray hair! I feel ready for the nursing home!

History is HERE!

2008-11-04T21:50:00.000-08:00

This moment is unbelievable. It's unbelieveable. Barack Obama is the new President Elect of the United States. In fact, the PEOPLE of the United States voted and elected this amazing man to be our President.

I love him and I love the direction that he will lead our country in. I love AMERICANS today, and today - for the first time in my life - I HAVE HOPE!

Thank you, God. Thank you, America. And Thank you, PRESIDENT OBAMA!

My Barack Obama Experience

2008-11-03T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today is November 3rd. It is the day before the most historic Presidential Election ever.

Today I saw Barack Obama. I was literally 15 feet from him. I felt his energy, and I was part of a shared energy with tens of thousands of other people. This experience has been phenomenal, and I'm not sure I can even describe it. I feel so excited, energized, and hopeful. This man is truly something special. It's almost as if the light from Heaven shines right on him and I BELIEVE IN HIM. It was amazing and I will never forget it.

Take a look at the day's slideshow - it's more powerful than my words could be.

Happy Halloween!!!

2008-10-31T23:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!!!

This is one of my FAVORITE Holidays and in years past I've tried to make it really fun! Whether we're doing a party for the kids (or adults), we really enjoy ourselves at Halloween.

Alas, this year my kids are getting big. They no longer care about dressing up and I have NO influence in their costume selections at all (imagine that). For them, it's all about the candy. Boooooo (and not in a cute Halloween way either). This year we decided to go back to Virginia to let them do the traditional Trick-or-Treat in Grandma Pinkey & Grandaddy Sug's neighborhood with all of their cousins and friends. It was great to go home, but I didn't have an overwhelming "holiday" feeling.

Trae'von decided to be a rapper - not the most inventive but still reasonably cool. Bria wanted to be Mulan, but we weren't wild about any of the costumes we saw. Then I found this really pretty kimono online, so she went as a beautiful Geisha. Add in my various neices and nephews, and it was a good time had by all. Best of all, they shared their candy with me - only minimal force was involved!

ROCK THE VOTE!!!

2008-10-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Wow! This election has really heated up! After watching the debates and being glued to CNN and MSNBC for weeks, the atmosphere in America is amazing! EVERY WHERE you go, people talk about the election, the candidates, and the incredible possibility of Barack Obama actually becoming President.

Today was the first day for early voting in North Carolina. Reggie and I knew this was something we wanted to do, so after work we went to our little library chapter and waited in line. The news crews were reporting record-breaking lines all day at the larger voting sites, and said that people were waiting over 4 hours in some areas just to cast their vote. That in itself is an AMAZING thing. I'm so excited that Americans feel motivated for the first time in years, and I hope this momentum continues.

We took Trae'von with us to vote and all in all we waited about 45 minutes. The best part was standing in line with everyone. People were excited and energized! I'm sure that there were McCain supporters there too, but at that moment, it didn't matter. I was filled with an incredible sense of history. I felt like I was part of something huge, historical, and incredibly important. I felt so proud and so grateful that I have the ability to cast my vote for Barack Obama, and I feel so hopeful about our future with him as our president. I believe in Barack, not just because he's black but because he knows and understands our issues. I think he's the most ethical politician we've had in years and I'm excited about the future of our country.

Pictures I'm proud of:

The er... Happiest Place on Earth

2008-10-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

This year's trip to Disney was planned to a T. Do you hear me? TO A T! I'm talking printed itineraries for a 19 people! YES, 19 PEOPLE!

This year's trip included the 4 of us, one of my best friends, her mom, and her twins, Reggie's parents, his brother, his sister and her 3 kids, his cousin and her baby, and his aunt and uncle. I planned a Grand Gathering with Disney, coordinated all events, including a Halloween party, and even carved out some special times just for our family and our anniversary celebration one evening.

With everything going on, I can't believe we fit it all into 7 little days - INCLUDING 8 hours of driving and hosting his entire family here at our house for 2 nights. But we did! It wasn't what I imagined, but it was special. It was great seeing his family on their first vacation and experiencing thier favorite Disney moments.

Best of all were the moments we spent just Reggie and I. Our kids are old enough to roam the parks by themselves for a little while and we took full advantage of it! The Food and Wine festival, the hammock on the beach, every fireworks display, the special rainstorm, and more - it really was the most magical time! We love Disney, and I'm convinced - Disney loves us!

Check out our slideshows:

Budget Queen!

2008-10-06T12:43:00.001-07:00

Sooooo everyone who knows me knows I'm not the most fiscally responsible person on earth.

BUT THAT'S CHANGING!

We are really making an effort to be responsible, to create a budget and stick to it. The economy is scaring the crap out of me, so it's definitely time to work it out.

We don't use credit for anything now, and we don't have any car payments (Thank you Edwin), so overall we are ok. We just need to curb our excess spending and STOP EATING OUT!

We also need to meet with a financial advisor who can review our taxes and advise us to the next level.

We are excited! Yesterday we clipped coupons and saved $48 on our grocery bill! You would have thought we won the lotto because we were so excited!

Watch out world, the new and improved Gatlings are coming!!!

I've got a thing or two to get off my chest

2008-10-03T05:34:00.001-07:00

Hmmm what an interesting few weeks I've had - a vacation, the economy, a looming DIVA trip, and this election. So many things spinning in my head.

First let's talk about life in general. I am SO BLESSED and just beyond grateful for my life. I am in the happiest place and the most AWARE place I've ever been in. Things aren't picture perfect, but I'm so aware of my blessings that I can't find fault in the little things. I'm just appreciative and positive. I hope I stay here.

My marriage - I haven't talked about it a whole lot lately because I know so many people who are going through tough spots, but I just want to offer so much encouragement. Reggie and I have been through hell during the past 2 years - moving, selling a house, building a new house, losing jobs, being apart, and finally reuniting our family. But I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes you have to walk through the fire in order to forge something better and stronger than before. There is not a day that goes by that we don't look at each other and realize how wonderful our marriage is. We are grateful for the gift we've been given and so aware of the need to cherish and appreciate it. I feel like the luckiest woman on earth!

Our vacation together was a mixed bag - it was interesting because we traveled with a large group and had a lot of personalities to consider. It was awesome because we traveled with family and it was fun to see everyone else's enjoyment. It was tough because we realized that our kids don't really appreciate all that we do in order to give them things we never had. They acted like spoiled pre-teenagers and it drove us crazy. And it was just amazing because we kept carving out special moments and times for just the two of us. The 10 minutes we shared walking around at Epcot and the 20 minutes that we snuggled in the hammock on the beach were the highlights of our trip. When we got home, we immediately booked a vacation for just the two of us - but we'll see how that pans out.

Which brings me to finances and the economy. What a scary time this is in America. When we got back to Charlotte, there were gas shortages. You still are not guaranteed to get gas at the first few stations you go to around here. It's better, but it's spooky. Then you look at the failing economy and realize that we live on the EDGE. Thanks to our current job situation, we can't afford to purchase health insurance, we live paycheck to paycheck (literally) and have next to nothing in savings. If something were to happen, we would quickly lose our house and everything else. We are using this as a HUGE wake up call for us to start saving money. I'm going to work on a budget (with a little DIVA help) and we are going to save, save, save. We've decided to really pare down on Christmas and holiday crap this year and give ourselves the gift of financial independence and freedom. I want to make it a point to teach my children how to manage money this year and I think that's the best gift I can give them.

This election - WOW. I'm speechless after watching the VP debate last night. I think that Joe Biden kicked Sarah Palin's ASS on the issues. BUT I don't think most Americans are going to vote based on the issues. I'm so afraid that she kicked his ass in terms of connecting with the public, being likeable and approachable, and seeming like your girl-next-door, and sadly I think that will earn her votes. In fact, I think the Republicans are banking on that exact thing to earn them votes. I think that's why they chose her.

Of course I wanted her to fail again in the media last night, but I also knew she wouldn't. I knew that she was eating, sleeping, and breathing answers all week long so she would be able to pull it out. And guess what? She charmed me. I thought she was charming and engaging, and for a brief moment, it felt like she was on the PTA board right beside me. I connected with her as a mother watching her hold her baby, and I had to remind myself that she is the complete OPPOSITE of me. I honestly had to pinch myself and remember that she doesn't stand for anything that I do - yes, of course we are both mothers and of course we both want stabilization for American families, but aside from that - we are nothing alike.

I wish someone would pin her down on some answers, but she's a politician. For all her crap about "straight talk to the American public" she didn't say ANYTHING. She gave no views, no opinions, no plans. Only when asked directly did she say that she did not support gay marriage, but she refused to elaborate. She would NOT answer the question about global warming.... so who is she? What is she about? Joe Biden commanded that political stage, but sadly Sarah Palin commanded the pageant stage. The question is - will Americans be able to see through the fluff and vote on the issues? I certainly hope so.

I will say that I've never been so politically intrigued in my life. I think this will be the most important election in my lifetime and I am absolutely ill about it. I am addicted to the coverage like a junkie. CNN is my crackpipe. My worst fear is that the Republicans will rob Obama by some crazy ploy on November 3rd or a faulty voting scheme, and I am going to be so disgusted. Even worse is the thought that I live in a country that actually CHOSE John McCain to be our president.... that thought makes my skin crawl. I'm not sure how patriotic I will continue to feel if that happens.

And those are my thoughts for the day! LOL I told y'all there was a lot in my head this morning! I *heart* my blog!

Regarding the DIVA trip - still can't wait! I got my plane tickets and I'm ready to go right now! i can't wait to hug my girls!!! 6 weeks DIVAS!

We're back!

2008-10-02T10:50:00.001-07:00

We're back from an awesome time at Disney! I got a little sick and I'm still fighting it off, but otherwise we're just trying to get back into the swing of things! I'll update soon with pictures and more posts!

The Black American Dream

2008-09-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

I was watching Making the Band this weekend and I saw something that irritated the crap out of me. Diddy (Puffy, Puff Daddy, Sean Diddy WHATEVER) had on this t-shirt:

and it really got me thinking. He's not MY American dream. He's not what I dream Black America could be or should be. While I'm proud of everything he has achieved and I do think he's an incredibly smart and talented Black businessman, I don't want my son looking up to him and wanting to be him. I hate that rappers and entertainers are the new rolemodels because what they represent isn't reality. My child has a better chance of making into the NFL or NBA than he does of being an entertainer, and honestly there are things I think are so much more important in life.

This is MY Black American Dream:

When I was growing up, I wanted to be Claire Huxtable. She was the epitome of style, beauty, grace, motherhood, and a good wife. What Cliff and Claire had was magical and Claire was able to balance a successful career with a happy family. She is who I wanted to be growing up, and STILL want to be.

And I don't think that's the BLACK American dream more than it is any other race. The American dream consists of a happy, healthy, secure FAMILY. The best example I can think of in today's terms is the Obama family. They are happy, they have a close bond, both of them are intelligent and successful, but put their family first. Their daughters are beautiful and well spoken - let's face it - THEY ARE THE NEW BLACK AMERICAN DREAM!

I pray that they continue to inspire our culture and our youth. I pray that marriage in the Black community continues to increase and single parent households decreases. There is something so beautiful about our love - it is pure, it is STRONG, and it is real.

(my favorite movie Love Jones)

As far as the American Dream, I'm proud to say I'm living it! I guess, like Diddy, I'm living the dream I had since childhood. I'm a mother, a wife, and part of successful Black family. We're not doctors or lawyers, but we are comfortable and happy. I love my husband, I love my children, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in this world.

Thank you, God, for MY Black American Dream.

I'm in Foodie Heaven!

2008-09-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm a foodie. AND a Bravo addict. In fact, Bravo is my very favorite channel and Top Chef is my very favorite show. I have watched the entire show religiously and have not missed one episode of it's four seasons.

So it is with nothing short of pure glee that I was able to attend the Top Chef TOUR! It's actually a cute little story and it goes a little something like this:

Reggie (my adorable husband) called me on Friday and said "Bay, I just looked out of the window of this building I'm working on and I saw a truck that says Top Chef: The Tour. What is that about? Is Top Chef in town? You definitely need to go!" As fast as my little fingers could type, I hit google and sure enough - Top Chef was coming to Charlotte on Saturday!!! I learned that there would be a live demo by two of season 4's chefs. Unfortunately all of the tickets had been requested online and there were no available seats, but it did say to inquire the day of the show.

You know I set out that morning with my camera in hand. I expected it to be mobbed, but it wasn't! It was set up at a local farmer's market - I could have spent a fortune there! I got there and spent some time chatting with a few people who work for BRAVO (what an awesome job) and then some students from the local culinary school came and we talked for awhile. I put my name on a very long list of people waiting to get in, and crossed my fingers.

Soon enough, the current demo ended and out stepped SPIKE and ANDREW! I was completely psyched to see some of my favorite personalities from the show! I got to spend time talking with both of them, they signed autographs, and we took pictures. They REALLY were nice and completely cracked me up!

Then it was time for the demo. By this point a crowd had formed and I was so nervous that I wasn't going to get in..... BUT I DID! It was awesome - they cooked this incredibly yummy bruschetta using fresh ingredients from the market.

They talked a lot about cooking in general and about the show. The best part was that there weren't a lot of Top Chef fans there - so of course, I asked lots of questions and they loved it! It was a great experience over all and I'm SO HAPPY that I went. I love my hubby for finding it!

More Photos:

I'm officially a MOTHERBLOGGER!

2008-09-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

LMAO! Well, that's my new favorite phrase (right beside Mickey Fickey - don't ask).

I'm beyond excited because my DIVAS and I are planning a trip! I'm actually going to do it - after 5 long years of being BFF's online, I'm going to Texas! It sounds crazy to say that I'm going to meet some of the closest people in my life for the first time, but it's true! Anyone who is part of a good online community knows that sometimes the bonds of friendship that we develop are stronger and tighter than those you have with people you see everyday.

Some of these ladies have truly become my BEST friends and I love them more than words can say! Meeting them seems like small potatoes at this point - I want to HUG them and listen to them and LAUGH WITH THEM! I want to go out and get drunk with them, dress up and get FLY with them, and HELL YEAH I wanna get a tattoo with them!

THAT'S what DIVAS do and I can't mickey fickey wait!!!!!!!

In two weeks I'll be....

2008-09-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

That's right! I'm going to DISNEY WORLD!

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!

We are going in a large group of 19 people! My in-laws and my girlfriend and her family are all coming and we plan to make a big deal out of it! I'm in a panic trying to organize everything, but I know we'll get there! I can't wait to leave the real world behind and enter into the fantasy world of Disney! All of us love that Disney spirit and we plan to take our time and enjoy it all this year. No rushing, no feeling like we have to do everything, or see everything - just enjoying our time together. And I'll enjoy my time with my mouse:

Humbled and Grateful

2008-09-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

Last week for my dad's birthday I tried to come up with a gift that would actually benefit him more than another shirt or tie. Because he works all of the time, I'm always worrying about him not eating well. Usually when he gets home he just grabs a tv dinner. So I decided to hire a personal chef for him who can make him some REAL food, package it, and leave it in his fridge twice a month.

We met with her last weekend while I was there. She's an awesome lady named Free who is just starting to get her personal chef business off the ground. She brought over a cake that was divine and I think she & my dad really hit it off. I was excited for her because my dad knows a lot of people and would certainly help her get her business off the ground.

I called her just a minute ago to make all of the arrangements and she answered the phone sounding very confused. She proceeds to tell me that she's just leaving the Sprint store from picking up her new phone. Apparently there was a fire last night and her entire house burned down. She sounded devastated and very upset as she told me that the Red Cross has her in a hotel for now and her insurance company is going to provide temporary housing for her while they rebuild her house.

My heart absolutely broke for her. It sounds like an incredible story, but to hear her voice crack and to really think about what that would mean to me and my family. I would be lost and completely devastated. To think of losing all of my pictures and photo albums would be heartbreak enough, not to mention the few heirlooms that I have. I can't imagine the sense of loss you would experience going through this, and my heart and prayers are with her.

We will definitely be here when she is ready to start her business, and for anything else we can do in the meantime.

What Obama Means to Me

2008-09-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

I posted this on my Diva group, and I just really wanted to remember it for myself. One of my close friends cautioned us not to get excited over what the politicians say because these are "just" speeches. But for me it's so much more than that. For some people this political battle is about so much MORE than the presidency. I think that for African Americans and for Women, this race has become symbolic of so much more than that.

This weekend my family met for a small get-together. It was the most inspiring thing I've been through in a very long time to sit and listen to my great aunt talk about what Obama's presidency means to her. It is symbolic of all that we have come through and fought for. My grandmother and her sister were strong civil rights advocates, both very prominent in the NAACP, both were at the march on Washington that day when Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered a lot more than a speech. For us, he delivered a dream of equality - something that should be, but never was. For my aunt and millions of other African Americans, this is reaching the dream they fought so hard for.

But that's not all because it's not just about whether there is a black person in the white house. When Jesse Jackson ran for office, we weren't that excited. Honestly, I would never have voted for Jesse Jackson even though he is black because I don't stand behind his politics and I don't think he's the best person to run this country. And that really is the bottom line. We won't vote for Barack because he's black, we'll vote because we believe he is the best candidate. But we will rejoice in this moment in history because he's black and because he symbolizes the realization of a dream.

Watching my aunt and my father talk about their life experiences and how far we've come as a nation - seeing the tears in their eyes and hearing their voices crack as they spoke gave me an appreciation for this election on a whole other level. One many people will not identify with. My father talked about the boy in his junior class in HS who was castrated, beaten, and left to die for whistling at a white classmate. His cousin talked about being in the first group of 5 black students to walk into the previously all white school and not being spoken to by the TEACHERS the entire year. And yet in their lifetime, we have a candidate - a good, strong, wise, and sincere candidate who could be president of our country. It's amazing, awe-inspiring and humbling.

Last night at dinner, Reggie and I were talking about this. We talked about how we looked around the restaurant and saw blacks, whites, asians, hispanics, and everyone else eating in the same restaurant and getting the same service. We also saw people of different races sitting together with their children! 52 years ago my mother was given up for adoption because she was a biracial child, and now there is a biracial child on his way to the white house.

This is history. No matter if it affects you or moves you or not, it's incredible to some. I want you to have a sense of what this race means to millions of Americans. Americans just like you, just like your family - just like me.

If you want my opinion - I don't want Obama to win because he's black. I wasn't sold on Obama initially. It wasn't until I did my research and I listened to his platform and read about his votes in the Senate and his work in his community that I began to see that this is a candidate who believes what he's saying. He is not interested in playing the dirty political games and he doesn't want to become President because of any ploys, celebrity status, or hoop-la in the media. I believe he truly wants change, and while I think he's a tad idealistic, I believe him. I believe in the strength of his character and his convictions, and when he speaks his words echo the sentiments of my heart. His speeches have become so much more than words to me because I believe him and I believe IN him.

And even if it is just a speech, the history and the struggles that my people have gone through for him to have this opportunity all stand behind those words to make it so much more meaningful than "just a speech".

Yes we can. Yes we can. YES WE CAN. Those words are just as prophetic as MLK's I have a dream.

These are the words from Martin Luther King, Jr's speech that ALWAYS bring tears to my eyes. They fit very well here.

"I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

... And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

http://www.usconstitution.net/dream.html

These are pictures of my family sitting around having this discussion and sharing stories:

Daddy & Aunt Theresa

3 Generations of Family

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

We had a blast Labor Day weekend! We took a trip to Maryland to see my dad and brought along a few friends! Reggie, Trae'von, and I went with Aaron and Cree for a weekend getaway. It was great.
Aaron & Cree

While we were there, I got to see Corey - my best, best, best friend from high school that I haven't seen in 12 years! I was a little nervous about seeing him after all this time (and all these extra pounds) but it was AWESOME! He is exactly the same, and like all good friends - it was as if no time had passed. My only regret is that we didn't take any pictures together. You KNOW I was excited if I forgot to take pictures.....

The next day we hung out in the pool for awhile, then Danyett came over. Danyett is my best friend from college and one of my DIVAS! It was so amazing to see her and her kids. I was there when both of her oldest boys were babies, and I miss having her close. It was awesome to get to spend sometime with Daj'zha and with the new baby Damir. I want to have the same closeness with them that I feel with De'kel and D'zion.

Danyett and I sat around talking about nothing, but it was just so good to see her face and hear her voice. She gives the best hugs and she's the best friend I've ever had at telling people that she loves them. I don't think we do that enough these days - and it's so important to tell people that you love them. It's pretty nice to hear it too!

That night we went to the National Harbor. This was my first time there and it is BREATHTAKING. Literally, the Gaylord hotel is unbelievable and the view is gorgeous. We got there right at sunset and it was great. We walked along the boardwalk and looked at the stores that are open and what is coming. We took a look at my dad's condo from across the street. It's still under construction, but it was fun to see it anyway!

All in all, it was a GREAT weekend!

Do you know what today is?

2008-09-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

It's our anniversary!

7 years ago today:

And I love him more today than I did then!

Welcome to Charlotte!

2008-08-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend, Reggie's cousing Keisha and her baby London came to visit Charlotte. Keisha is thinking about moving here, so we gave her the tour. As we went through uptown, we decided to take a carriage ride tour, and it was amazing!

I took the following photo of my beautiful Queen City:

And a couple of favorites from that day:

That's IT! I'm starting a blog (again)

2008-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok, I've been inspired ONCE AGAIN to start a blog. I used Myspace for awhile, but I'm sick of them now. So I'm going to blog here. There are so many things going on that I'd really like to get out of my head, share with my family and friends (and all of my many fans, of course), and have a place to look back on in the coming months to see where my head was at different points. I love looking at other people's blogs, so I'm just going to do it.

We'll see how successful I am....................

My life: A Well-Organized Mess

I've got the itch!

Is this thing on????

*Pat, Pat, Pat*

Back on the Short Bus

Umm yeah, so....

It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

I'm back, bitchezzzz

My big kids

And we're OFF!

It's official: I suck

DON'T pinch me, please

I AM A RUNNER!

Spending Log: Week 1 Recap

Spending Log #1

SNOW DAY!

Tales of a Budget Queen

My blind little bat

Happy Valentine's Day to Us!

Julia Roberts

20 things I want to accomplish in 2009

Christmas

Happy 13th Birthday Trae!

History is HERE!

My Barack Obama Experience

Happy Halloween!!!

ROCK THE VOTE!!!

The er... Happiest Place on Earth

Budget Queen!

I've got a thing or two to get off my chest

We're back!

The Black American Dream

I'm in Foodie Heaven!

I'm officially a MOTHERBLOGGER!

In two weeks I'll be....

Humbled and Grateful

What Obama Means to Me

Labor Day Weekend

Do you know what today is?

Welcome to Charlotte!

That's IT! I'm starting a blog (again)

Pat, Pat, Pat